teaching adults to pray out loud

At various times since then, others in my church have expressed the same reluctance, and I confess being initially dismayed and frustrated with them - until, in a moment of humbling grace, I remembered that praying out loud had been uncomfortable at first for me as well.

Many Christians, I realize, were taught to pray aloud at age four as they knelt alongside Snoopy-and-Charlie-Brown bedspreads. But even they may find themselves uncomfortable praying in public years later. I still recall my terror as a high school senior at the Honor Society banquet table when my faculty sponsor whispered to me, "Would you offer the blessing?" My salad fork froze in my hand.

Before I could voice a protest, she was up and announcing, "Now, before we begin. . .' with her pleasant, demanding smile. Hesitantly, I stood, cleared my throat, and did my best to mumble a prayer fit for Honor Society chicken and peas.

For a long time I explained my fear to myself and others by saying, "Well, you know prayer is such a private thing." Yet the truth was this: I didn't want to pray out loud simply because I was afraid I would blow it. Prayer, I knew even then, is important, and I didn't want to open my mouth and hear some stupid thing come out.

In other words, my fear of praying with others was rooted in pride. I assumed my task in prayer was not merely to converse with God, but particularly to give the human listeners something from my accumulated store of knowledge and experience. If what I offered in prayer was "no good," clearly I was no good. The prayers I had heard most often used a formal, educated English, and so I assumed just speaking to God required a certain level of educational accomplishment.

By the end of seminary, of course, I had overcome these false assumptions. I had also learned that praying together has been a hallmark of Christian life since the beginnings of the church, as the opening reports from the book of Acts makes clear. In working since then with parishioners uneasy about vocal prayer, I have found it helpful to do the following:

1. Encourage a daily time of individual prayer and devotion. Talking with God in private is the best foundation for talking aloud to God, in a group.
2. Be understanding toward those who are uneasy praying with others. It's scary for most of us at first. The best things in life - and that surely includes praying together - take time to grow. Make sure nobody feels obligated to pray out loud.
3. Affirm the value of silent prayer. Don't hesitate to say in your prayer, "Lord, we know You hear us whether we pray quietly or aloud." Indeed, you can pray quietly after that, asking the Holy Spirit to move others to pray out loud.
4. Provide entry-level opportunity for simple public prayer. For example, before a potluck meal, you might invite everyone simply to "Say something to God that you're thankful for."
5. Model simplicity yourself. In the above situation, you might say no  more than "Lord, I thank you today for these friends." Avoid churchy language and try to be as conversational with God as you would with any person you love.
6. Whenever appropriate encourage others present to add to your prayer. Pastors are usually asked to offer "the prayer" for an occasion, but often you can follow by saying, "Would anyone else here like to offer something as well?" We all learn by practice, and every Christian must be given chances to try.
7. Trust that the full Word of God is not in any one person - not even the pastor- but rather in the body as a whole. It's OK if you don't know what to pray when someone in a gathering asks you to pray. Just be honest with God: "Lord, we confess we don't always know how to pray by our self. But we thank You, that You are the Head of your church. There is no limit to the saving power You give us when we come together in Your name. So we give this time to You and ask You to speak through any of us here, so we can let You do what You want in this situation."
8. Follow up with appreciation. Go especially to "beginners" and say, "Thank you for praying today." If someone did not pray and you sense he or she was uncomfortable, go and say, "It was good to have you here - I'm glad you came." That is, make sure people know they are loved and valued for who they are, not simply for the prayers they offer. This sets people free from their fears of being left out and keeps them open to later prayer times when they might be ready to participate.

As you move ahead in the adventure of praying together, you will add to this list yourself. Above all, be gentle with others. Nearly every church member has a sense he or she "should" be willing and able to pray with others - and may therefore be embarrassed and defensive about it. In our competitive, performance-oriented society, let the church be a place of acceptance and safety.

Indeed, the person who "doesn't know how to do it" is often the most teachable - closer to the authentic starting point where we need to be in prayer: confessing that we can do nothing for the Lord on our own human power.

- Gordon Dalbey
Torrance, California